Reconstructed Mie Goreng
One of the most exhilarating things about being a successful food blogger is making the old new again. We all want to be at the culinary cutting edge, but sometimes Nan had the right idea. I find that my most delish innovations happen when I add a crazy, dynamic twist to family recipes that sit close to my heart. Or as we foodies like to say, noms are where the feels are!
That’s why I’ve decided to revisit a fun, classic dish and zhoosh it up with an eggy surprise!
- Deconstruct a packet of Indomie™ Instant Mi Goreng by taking the sachets and noodles out of the plastic.
- Boil three and a half cups of filtered, charcoal-infused spring water in a teflon-free copper pot.
- Gently lower the noodles into the hand-crafted, teflon-free, burnished copper pot, being careful not horrifically scald your hands.
- Cook noodles al dente and strain. (If the noodles have become soggy, their molecular structure has been compromised and their superfood status has been lost. Destroy them and return to Step 1.)
- Mix the artisanal sachets of chilli, soy sauce, fried shallots, garlic-infused palm oil and single-source monosodium glutamate in with the noodles. Stir.
- Take one chicken, duck or lyrebird egg. Fry on a copper-free cast iron pan. (I only use eggs laid by poultry fed on a 5:2 FODMAPS paleo diet. If you can’t find any at your local farmers market, destroy the noodles and return to Step 1.)
- Plate up the mie goreng and egg in a funky glass jar or ancient Mesopotamian earthenware vase. Sprinkle with pepper and smugness.
Mie goreng is really my passion at the moment, but a few of my fans on Twitter have asked for an update on my Macroenergetic Compost Diet. Well, I’m thrilled to announce I’ve just moved into Phase Four. That means 70% of my calories are now coming from daily Compost Shakes. Here’s the recipe from psycho-nutritionist Dr Hydrangea Frax, author of The Compost Diet Revolution.
- Blend a combination of vegetable peelings, bread crusts and freshly picked dandelion stems. (It might look irresistible, but try to not to drink it yet!)
- Leave the mixture to ferment for seven days, preferably in place where it can be activated by the energising power of the sun.
- Rapidly heat and cool the shake every day to enhance the sun’s natural rhythms. You can do this in a number of ways, but I prefer to use an esky and a hair drier. This will ensure the shake is fully enriched with the natural goodness it needs to replenish your gut bacteria.
- Garnish with spirulina, chia seeds and little pieces of egg shell.
I can honestly say that the Macroenergetic Compost Diet is the best thing to ever happen to me. My digestive system is cleansing itself on the hour and my energy levels are so high that I literally can’t stop shaking.
Well that’s it from me for today. That Compost Shake was so amazeballs I’m about to go into a #FoodComa!
Until next time,