Does it go with Tabasco?


Weird food experiments.

In the course of living the student’s or artist’s busy lifestyle, not many people want to spend three hours preparing a meal that will be transformed into a mountain of dishes in under 20 minutes.

Or at least, I don’t. I basically want food that will keep me alive and reasonably energetic without costing me a fortune or taking hours of preparation. I also don’t want to end up holding a grudge against my mouth for making me taste something so revolting. Which has happened.

Lots of people have stories about the time they mistook salt for sugar or similar accidents. Occasionally this happens when the only food left to eat, is the food that really shouldn’t be eaten. But if you’re running late and you’re out of money and time to make anything else, you might bite the bullet, and potentially feel like you’ve shot yourself in the mouth.

Once upon a time the foods available in my kitchen, having not had time to shop for several days, were a can of kidney beans an onion and a can of tomatoes, I also had plenty of spices so I could throw all this in a pan and make it taste okay pretty easily. I had a visitor coming round in about half an hour and needed to eat before they arrived. It should have been fine; it should have been completely edible. It would have been, except when I went to add a tiny bit of chili powder to the mix, the lid came off and dumped nearly a whole jar of hot chili into a small pan. I ate it anyway, as much as I could, while ignoring the urge to punch myself take my mind off the burning and when my visitor arrived, I looked like I’d been crying, because I had… just a little.

This did however lead to two important discoveries; with enough chilli, you can avoid tasting anything and after a while it becomes bizarrely addictive.

The trick is to experiment. For example, if you look around your kitchen and all you have is a mushroom and three potatoes, it could be kind of bland, but then you start adding things, seeded mustard, basil and oregano, mayonnaise; there are a huge varieties of sauces, spices, herbs and condiments available and just about all of them can be used to make bland or weird food edible. potentially even tasty and exciting.20160501_132457

The condiments and spices cupboard at my house now rivals our pantry for the amount of stuff crammed into it. And quite a few cooking oils and weird coloured salts have taken over the counters.

Rather than put any actual recipes here, I’ll just end with a few suggestions for things that have worked surprisingly well in the past.

  • Vegemite and cheese in mashed potatoes; looks gross but is awesome for a hangover.
  • Hot sauce (usually tabasco) on popcorn; every handful is an adventure, don’t forget to wash your hands thoroughly before touching your eyes or well, anything after eating…there’s such a thing as too much adventure.
  • Sesame oil; in roast vegies and almost anything it also makes two minute noodles taste like actual food.
  • Seeded mustard in soups and steamed vegies.

Good luck experimenting.


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